Get ready... I hope you find this as funny as I did, I found it on the internet.... Relax. I'm including it to lighten things up, not because somebody said something to offend me. That is nearly impossible.
"It might turn out to be a blessing in disguise"
Really? It's a freaking BRILLIANT disguise then. Because right now this blessing looks a lot like the second leading cause of death in the world today.
"We could all get killed crossing the street tomorrow -- you never know"
I agree that we have no idea how long we've got. But I'm pretty sure that cancer is a little more life threatening than crossing the street. Which would you rather face when you wake up tomorrow? Cancer or crossing the street ten times? I thought so.
"Breast cancer? It's a good one to get I've heard -one of the better ones"
This is like telling you that it's good that it was your youngest son who got permanently disfigured because you liked him the least! Yes there are worse cancers. But there are no good cancers.
More…
· "You could step off the curb tomorrow and get hit by a bus" (not a good analogy, its like I already got hit by the bus and now its backing up over me)
· "You gotta think positively" (ok, I'm positive I had cancer, and I'm positive it wasn't fun)
· "You'll be fine"
· "So, your fine now right?"
· "My grandma died of that"
· "Can I see what is going on under that hat?"
· "If anyone can beat it it's you"
· "It's a good thing you have a pretty face"
· "If it's not your time, it's not your time" (then why bother with the surgery and treatment?)
· "Life is not fair" (thanks for the heads up)
· "Every cloud has a silver lining" (huh?)
· "Its just a bump in the road" (living with a cancer diagnosis, losing your hair, getting chemo, radiation, gaining weight, having hot flashes, being depressed and anxious is not a bump in the road its a major mountain.)
· "Don't worry"
· "You're lucky you didn't lose weight on chemo"
· 'Remember Lance"
· "You gotta be like Lance"
· "Lance beat cancer"
· "Just look at Lance"
· "Just think, you're done" (done? I'm done?...I guess I'm done with cancer everyone. Nothing left to do. How about hormonal therapy, all the side effects, more boob surgery and worrying for the rest of my life about recurrence)
· "You look good bald"
· "So, was the cancer bad?" (no, I had the good kind remember?)
· "This is a treatable disease" (Have they found a treatment for your insensitivity yet?)
· "How do you know if it's working?" (I die, if it didn't work)
· "You know you can eat more curry, its supposed to kill cancer cells" (great tip, thanks)
· "You'll be fine, you have a great attitude" (If attitude really matters then why did I get cancer in the first place? Or does attitude only matter after you get cancer? Right now my attitude about cancer is lousy. What does that mean?)
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5 comments:
Dena,
Thank you for this! It's helpful to read and have a better understanding of what cancer is. Also the list of what people have said to cancer patients(I'm sure I'm guilty of some of them, sorry...) is insightful and your witty responses to them are so Dena. I love you and think of you every day. I have a white Glassybaby (Seattle company) candle that was issued for survivors of breast cancer, I light it often and pray for you. Thank you for your blog Dena, it's a gift.
Dena,
Your blog is wonderful! Really explains your journey which helps everyone to try to comprehend what you went through, what you are going through, and what is to come. I must admit, it makes me cry, but I cry anyway! And laugh inappropriately. It must have been tough (emotionally) to put together. A year of “OH SHIT!!!” Another truly non-selfish act, focusing on how to keep everyone informed. You are so special, I can’t even explain in words. I have an awesome Best Friend!
I love you Dena.
Dena,
I am thinking good thoughts for you. What's the next chemo they're planning for you?
PS: I'm Bobbie's sister with triple negative brca
Hi Dena, my mom gave me your blog address...I had to comment on the first post I read, you had me smiling and chuckling out loud...some of those sayings are just "crazy", I think your responses were great (that's what had me smiling)...my favorite was think positivly (SERIOUSLY???, hmmm) oh and the one how do you know if it worked...???? hmmmmmm, again!
My mom usually keeps me posted on what is going on with all of you, but now I can't wait to be able to read and see pics of your gorgeous family! Many kisses your way....Demeri
Ugh...I went through a bout with cancer, and heard a few of these. People always mean well...they just don't know what to say, so they say something. And that's OK, cause after awhile, you've heard it all :) (On a similar note, after my brother died, someone told us that her kids cold relate to my brother's kids grief because their hamster had recently died! Yes, true story.)
Back to the hair, Beans. I've told you myself that you look pretty good bald...you do! I don't suggest it as a lifelong look for you, but your head is surprisingly smooth and symetrical! :) And I really like the short, sassy cut with the little-bit-of-gel-look you've got going on right now! Hugs!
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